I Don’t Believe In Soul Mates

When I was a few years younger, I strongly believed in the idea of soul mates! There was ONE man out there that God created just for me and we were going to meet, fall in love and live happily ever after! Although heart warming as a teenager, as an adult a much more mature perspective has formulated in my mind. You see, there is NO biblical basis to indicate that God in Heaven EVER created just one person for each of us. There are SO MANY people in the world, any number of which have a variety of traits that make their personality compatible with our own. There is no ONE PERSON! But when you choose to marry someone they BECOME your one person!

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As a wedding photographer, I meet with SO MANY newly engaged couples on a regular basis. During the engagement stage of any relationship the couple is all big eyed, butterflies in their tummies, over the top, head over heels, passionately in the FEELING of love with each other! It’s obvious in the way they speak, look, talk and touch each other. This is a wonderful experience, truly! The feeling of love is a powerful, life altering thing!  It’s an infectious feeling and perhaps part of the reason why I adore photographing weddings so much. The things these couples are FEELING as we sit in Starbucks and they describe their story to me in detail. It’s this FEELING that they just can’t get enough of. It’s this FEELING that they trying to capture and hold on to in the form of a marriage.


When I first met with Brian and Jaclyn it was obvious that they had this feeling of love for each other. My mom would say you could “see the love in their eyes.” But as I spent more time with them, it was even more obvious that they had something much greater than just the FEELING of love for each other. Hearing this groom talk about how special he wanted to make this wedding for his bride really opened my eyes to the reality of how he felt about her. I mean, what’s not to love? Jaclyn is a super TINY, adorable, kind, thoughtful, sweet, funny and BEAUTIFUL person! On the wedding day I was even more sure that their love was much, MUCH more than a feeling alone. Getting to spend time with the couple and see them in their element with family and friends surrounding them as they committed to spend the rest of their lives together was confirmation of that!

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People are so in love with the IDEA of love! We all just LOVE to hear about people who “fall in love” or have found their “soul mate.” I’m simply stating fact that even in Christian circles, the emphasis put upon the idea that God “has someone” for each of us is so blown out of proportion its just crazy! And what happens when this DIVINE feeling of love that was ORDAINED before you were even born wears off? You fall out of love? This wasn’t actually the ONE that God had for you? It’s so unrealistic! A marriage cant be based on an idea which you had no control over. Your marriage has to be based on the idea that you have ALL the control over it. You CHOOSE to love this one person day after day after day until “death do us part.”


There is no doubt in my mind that the love of Brian and Jaclyn is the “happily ever after” kind of love. This feeling they have for each other is intense and passionate and life altering, no doubt! But it is also steadfast and based on more that just raw emotion! Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Murry! 7/19/2014 I’m looking forward to hearing about your wonderful life together for many, many years to come!





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